


Coup de Not

by Maeglin_Yedi



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship, Drama, Humor, Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Multi, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, POV Steve Rogers, Politics, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:01:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeglin_Yedi/pseuds/Maeglin_Yedi
Summary: The orange clown tries to stage a coup. The Avengers are having none of that.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 20
Kudos: 128





	Coup de Not

**Author's Note:**

> So here I am, sitting in my little flat in the Netherlands watching the news and getting distracted by what I’m pretty sure is a coup attempt across the pond, which leads to lots of anxiety and an inability to write my WIPs, so I decided to tackle this problem the only way I know how, which is to write a story about it. 
> 
> Seriously, though, I feel an enormous sense of regret and anxiety for all you Americans who voted for reason and sanity and who now have to deal with this orange clown who’s making a mockery of your democracy. I truly wish you all the best and sincerely hope the whole situation will resolve itself quickly and without any violence. 
> 
> This is set in an AU version of the MCU, where everyone gets along and Civil War never happened. 
> 
> Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think!

Avengers Compound, New York, November 12.

Steve never thought he’d see a sitting president trying to stage a coup in the United States in his lifetime, either before or after the ice, but here they were. 

Natasha had been making noises long before the election that the orange clown, as Tony and many others liked to call him, was probably going to be a real problem should he lose, but Steve had dismissed those concerns, trusting in the system of democracy they had in place in their country. 

Now, though, he was forced to admit that this system of democracy only worked if all parties abided by the rules. 

The orange clown, however, was breaking every rule in the book, and worse, so far he was getting away with it. 

“He’s not going to go peacefully,” Bucky said quietly as they both sat on the couch in their apartment in the residency part of the Avengers compound, watching CNN, learning that the orange clown had fired the Secretary of Defence and was staffing the Pentagon with loyalists, on top of refusing to admit his loss and allowing the new President-Elect access to the White House to assure a smooth transition. 

Steve sighed, long and deep, and rubbed a hand over his face. Yeah, they probably should at least talk about the issue, see if there was anything they could or should do about it. Steve was all for walking up to the orange clown and smacking him in the face a few times to make him see reason, but he knew that wouldn’t solve anything, so meeting it was. “JARVIS, please call an emergency meeting with the core Avengers.” After thinking for a moment, he added, “And Rhodes and Strange.” 

Best to just keep the initial meeting between the oldest members of the Avengers and a few select others. If they were going to interfere with the government it was probably a good idea to keep the number of people in the know as small as possible. 

“And Loki,” Bucky added before shrugging when Steve gave him a questioning look. “He’s a prince, isn’t he? He’s bound to know more about backstabbing politics than we do, pal.”

“You’ve got a point,” Steve reluctantly agreed. Ever since Thor had brought Loki back to earth with him with tales of mind-control and redemption, Steve had been uneasy around the God of Mischief. Loki had caused so much death and destruction with his invasion of New York that Steve found it hard to forgive him, but he had to admit that since Loki had officially been put on probation here on earth and worked with the Avengers, he’d been behaving himself, for the most part. The worst he did these days were pranks, mostly aimed at his brother, so Steve at least counted that as a win. 

Steve and Bucky were the first to arrive in the conference room and they sat down in their customary seats. 

Clint was the next guy through the door. “So, coup, right?” Clint sounded pretty enthusiastic about the idea of a hostile takeover of the country, but Steve let it slide for now. 

“About time we talk about this,” was all Natasha said as she slipped inside. 

“Please tell me we’re doing something about the clown in the big, white house,” Rhodes said, his expression one that seemed stuck somewhere between exasperation and despair. He all but fell into his chair and released a sigh that seemed to go on for a full minute. 

“I cannot believe he won’t just admit he lost,” Bruce muttered as he stumbled in, mug of steaming tea in one hand. 

“So, can we all agree the orange clown in staging a coup?” Tony burst through the door, phone in one hand, tablet in the other, waving both around while he looked like hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in at least a week. “Oh Captain, my Captain, please tell me we’re doing something about that wannabe dictator?”

“That’s why we’re here, Tony.” Steve smiled at his friend, while privately marvelling how he’d ever thought that Tony was narcissistic when he’d first met him. Steve knew better now, after they’d had a truly narcissistic guy as the President for the last four years. 

“JARVIS has informed us of the reason for this meeting,” Thor announced as he and Loki entered. “You wish to overthrow your leader?”

“Not quite,” Bruce said as Thor sat down beside him, Loki quietly sitting down on Thor’s other side. “We want to make sure the old leader leaves like he should, so the newly elected leader can do his job come January.” Then Bruce glanced at Steve. “Right?”

“Right,” Steve agreed with a firm nod. Across from him, Clint punched a fist into the air. 

“Don’t judge,” Clint said when more than one person looked at him in bewilderment. “I just really enjoy stopping coups. It’s a thing.”

“He’s very good at it,” Natasha said with a small but proud smile. 

“Sorry I’m late,” Dr Strange said as he stepped through a glowing portal he opened in the corner of the room. “I assume we’re here to see democracy restored?”

“Yes, we are.” Steve sat up and folded his hands on the table in front of him, looking at all the expectant faces around him. “As we can all agree, the current President is trying to stage a coup and won’t go quietly. The question is, what can we do about it?”

“Plenty!” Clint said with another fist pump. 

“Just say the word and I can make the problem go away. Permanently,” Natasha offered with her sweetest smile. 

“We’re not assassinating the President of the United States,” Steve said quickly while glaring at Natasha and Clint both. “I know none of us like the guy and he’s breaking every rule in the book right now, but he still is the President.”

“Unfortunately,” Tony muttered while leaning back in his seat, arms folded behind his head. He looked at Dr Strange pointedly. “Can’t we just magic the guy into compliance? You or Wanda or both could cook some spell up?”

Dr Strange slowly shook his head. “It’s not that simple. We could indeed magically make him concede at this moment, but the problem is that he has to remain in office until the end of January. It’s very difficult to make mind-control spells last that long without arousing suspicion when we pop by every other day to renew the magic.”

“Can’t we just make a statement about how the Avengers expect the sitting President to do the right thing and turn over the presidency quietly?” Bruce asked, pushing his glasses up his nose in a nervous gesture. 

“We could,” Rhodes said, sitting up a little. “The brass in the military have been suggesting doing a similar thing. None of the military leaders are loyal to the orange clown. The problem is the orange clown’s followers.”

“Seventy million Americans voted for him, a vast majority who are armed and believe anything he says,” Clint added with a knowing look. 

“Exactly,” Rhodes said with a sharp gesture of his hand. “The way things are going now, we’re heading for a civil war if we’re not careful, no matter what we or the military publicly sate.”

“The orange clown is crazy enough to call his followers to arms,” Tony said in an uncharacteristically quiet voice. “And they’d answer that call with a bounce in their step and a song in their heart.”

“And with dead civilian bodies in their wake,” Bucky added with a sombre expression. 

“Yeah, that’s the kind of scenario we should avoid at all cost,” Steve said, his throat tightening at the idea of the American people going to war amongst themselves because of one crazy buffoon in the White House. “Any other suggestions?”

“Ideally, we should replace him.” Natasha suggested, looking far more serious now than she did before. 

“Replace him how?” Tony asked dubiously. “Like replace him Weekend at Bernie’s style?”

Clint snickered while Bruce shook his head, quickly sipping his tea to hide his smile. Rhodes looked like he was actually considering that option seriously, which spoke plenty of how desperate he must be feeling. 

Natasha gave Tony a vaguely amused look. “I mean with something like a photostatic veil. The problem is again the time-frame. A photostatic veil is best used during short missions, a few hours at the most. The less time you spend pretending to be someone else, the less chance of the technology failing and being found out.”

“And we need to replace him for two months,” Dr Strange said with a knowing look.

“Loki could do it,” Thor said out of the blue, causing everyone to look at him at once. “Truly, Loki is the best shapeshifter in the nine realms and he has impersonated others before during longer stretches of time.” Thor’s mouth stretched into a wide grin. “One time, Loki pretended to be the ambassador of Muspelheim…”

“Thank you, Thor,” Steve said quickly, nipping Thor’s tendency to tell hour-long stories in the bud. “Loki, can you convincingly impersonate someone for two months?”

Loki looked around the room with a wicked smirk and then shimmered in green, transforming into the orange clown in seconds. “There’s never been anyone better at shapeshifting than me, ask anyone, I am the best at it.”

“Wow,” Tony said, eyes wide and looking simultaneously repulsed and a little bit in love. “That is brilliant. Horrifying, but brilliant.”

“That’s amazing,” Rhodes said while giving Loki a thumb’s up. “You get my vote.”

Natasha was looking Loki over with a critical eye. “It’s doable. We’ll need to give him an intense briefing. JARVIS?”

“I can put together a few files concerning the current President, his family, his staff, and the American political systems,” JARVIS agreed at once. 

“And I can teach him the rest.” Natasha smiled and nodded at Steve. “This is the best plan yet.”

“But what do we do with the orange clown?” Clint asked with a tilt of his head. “Because I’m assuming giving him a pair of cement shoes and taking him for a swim in the Hudson is out?”

“Yes,” Steve said quickly, tempted to roll his eyes at Clint but restraining himself at the last moment. 

“I have a suggestion,” Dr Strange said as he ran a hand down the ornate amulet he wore around his neck. “We make the switch using a portal, and I can hold the orange clown in a time-bubble until after the inauguration of the President-Elect. For him, no more than a second will have passed when we release him.”

“Ha!” Tony smirked at that idea. “And once the new President is in place, the orange clown can complain all he likes, claiming memory loss or whatever, but he’ll be harmless then.”

“No one will care what he says or who he accuses,” Rhodes agreed before turning to Steve. “This could work with minimal risk and no casualties.”

“I agree.” Steve gave Loki, who had transformed back into himself, a long and hard look. This was no small decision to make, allowing Loki to impersonate the leader of the free world for two months. If he wanted to, Loki could do far worse than the orange clown could possibly even imagine doing in that kind of time-frame. Then again, if they did nothing, their country might very well descend into civil war and no one wanted that. “Loki, are you willing to do this?”

“I am,” Loki said, eyes sharp while he leaned forward a little. “But it comes at a price.”

“Name your price,” Steve said with a stony expression. Of course Loki would want something in return. He wasn’t the type to do something simply because it was the right thing to do. Steve really didn’t want to depend on Loki for such an important task, but needs must and all that.

“Oh, don’t look so constipated, dear Captain,” Loki said with an amused little smile. “I merely ask that after I successfully complete my deception, my probation is considered over and I’m allowed my freedom back.”

“That seems fair,” Tony said with a nod in Steve’s direction. “Loki keeps the country from falling into ruin and gets to live his own life however he wants in return.”

“Yeah, all right,” Steve said with a sigh. “That does seem fair.”

“Excellent.” Natasha got up from her chair and gestured at Loki to do the same. “Your training starts now.” 

Clint also jumped up with a sharp sound of excitement and another couple of fist bumps. “Let’s save democracy!”

Tony looked around the room. “While Natasha coaches Loki, we should probably decide what Loki needs to do and when once he takes over from the orange clown.”

And that is what they did for the rest of the day and the rest of the week until Dr Strange made the switch. 

Four days later, the Avengers were crowded around the TV in the communal living room as the President had announced a press-conference. 

Loki looked exactly like the orange clown, even got his stilted movements and vague hand gestures down. 

“He’s the best student I’ve ever had,” Natasha said, face flushed with pride as she stared at the TV. 

“Loki is very good at impersonation and deception,” Thor agreed, looking equally as proud. 

“I am not a loser,” the orange clown on the screen said, waving his hands around. “In fact, you could say there are two winners in this election. But maybe I am not as big of a winner as the President-Elect, even if I am still a winner and definitely not a loser. I do want to invite the President-Elect to visit the White House and talk to my staff about the transition, because let’s be real, the man needs all the help he can get, and even then I’m convinced he’s going to make a mess of his presidency but that’s not my problem, now is it? The American people have spoken, even if I don’t agree with it and know they’re making a big mistake, I will step down in January and let the President-Elect ruin the country because that’s how the American people want it.”

“My god,” Tony said in an awed voice. “If I didn’t know for certain that the real orange clown is currently trapped in a time bubble in the basement, I would have sworn that was him.”

Steve simply squeezed Bucky’s hand where it lay in his lap, glad they had, so far, averted a civil war and made sure that democracy lived to see another day. 

Loki kept up the deception without anyone being the wiser. Natasha did end up using a photostatic veil for herself as she got herself hired as an administrative assistant in the White House so she could help Loki by gathering intel for him on what sort of political machinations were happening around him. 

A week before Christmas Loki suddenly showed up at the compound where he promptly pulled Thor into a bone-crushing hug. “Never in my life, brother, have I seen such a dysfunctional family. His wife despises him, his children are only interested in bettering themselves and his staff is made up of fools and opportunists waiting to stab him in the back,” Loki muttered against Thor’s shoulder. “It is torture to have to pretend to be dumber than a bilgesnipe day in and day out while surrounded by clambering sycophants.”

“You can do this, Loki,” Thor said while patting Loki’s back. “It’s just a few more weeks.” 

Loki pulled his head back and looked at Thor with wide eyes. “Brother, why did I ever think being a ruler was something I wanted? I don’t want it. I truly don’t.”

Tony, who stood beside Steve watching the whole scene unfold, wiped away an imaginary tear from the corner of his eye. “And the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day once he learned that being a leader isn’t as fun as it sounds.”

Loki shot him a narrow-eyed look, which Tony answered with blowing a kiss his way.

Steve rolled his eyes at Tony and then offered Loki an encouraging smile. “You’re doing great so far, Loki. No one suspects a thing and the transition is going smoothly. We’re all really grateful for your efforts.”

Loki nodded at that. “I should return. I can only hide out in the toilet for so long before the Secret Service agents become restless and come looking for me.”

And with that Loki teleported himself away again. Steve hadn’t been lying, though, about being grateful for Loki’s efforts. So far the stock market was on the rise, international leaders expressed their appreciation things were going smoothly, and the American people seemed to accept they were getting a new President, even though the orange clown’s supporters grumbled about fraud, but without any solid evidence they eventually quieted down and went on with their lives. 

Inauguration day came and went without any issues, and a day later Dr Strange came over to make the switch through a portal during the night. They simply put the orange clown to sleep in his bed in his tower in New York and removed the time bubble.

The first thing the real orange clown did once he woke up the next morning was call a press conference once he realized he was no longer president and the inauguration had already happened. There he proceeded to tell the baffled reporters that he’d been the victim of a kidnapping, possibly by aliens since everyone knew aliens were real and they had obviously helped the new President commit voter fraud while taking away the orange clown’s memories. The only thing he accomplished with this was give late night talk-show hosts hours of new jokes about anal probes while the rest of the world, including a lot of his supporters, questioned his sanity openly. 

“You have no idea how elated I am for this ordeal to be over,” Loki said while he flopped down on the couch, looking like he hadn’t slept in a few weeks, long hair in disarray and dark circles around his eyes. 

“You did well,” Natasha said with a pleased little smile, patting Loki on the head. “We should talk about other missions you could do. Your talents shouldn’t go to waste.”

“As long as it does not involve the orange clown, I might be interested.” Loki closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath. “For now, I need to rest.”

“You’ll be able to choose your own missions,” Steve agreed, feeling oddly proud of Loki for having done the job without any shenanigans causing international incidents or civil war. “You’re officially pardoned.”

The only response Loki gave was a thumb’s up, eyes still closed as he lay sprawling on the sofa.

“Democracy saved,” Tony said, making finger guns at Steve. “Mission accomplished.”

“Yep, and no one died,” Steve said with a warm smile, chest glowing with the knowledge that they had saved their country from a narcissistic madman while ensuring the American people remained free and democracy endured. 

JARVIS turned on the TV where a news anchor announced that the Russian President had been found dead in his home from what appeared to be a heart-attack. 

Both Steve and Tony turned to look down at Loki, eyebrows raised and mouths slightly opened. 

Loki sat up and glared at Steve and Tony. “That creep tried to blackmail me during my last day in office, something to do with a video of urination and prostitutes.” Loki shuddered dramatically. “It was all so embarrassing and he wouldn’t take no for an answer so I took care of it. You cannot blame me for defending myself.”

Natasha looked entirely unconcerned as she shrugged. “As long as everyone believes he died of natural causes it shouldn’t be a problem.”

Steve shared a quick, worried glance with Tony, who also shrugged. 

“Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy,” Tony said, his smile growing and eyes shining. “Mission still accomplished.”

And even Steve had to agree with that. “Yeah. And democracy saved.”

°°°The End°°°

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think.
> 
> Come join me on Tumblr: [maeglinyedi](https://maeglinyedi.tumblr.com)


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